You know, I wish somebody would speak up and tell the truth about what Christianity is doing to you, and what you are doing to Christianity. I wish someone would lay it out, and you would listen. But I doubt anyone will, because everyone is so hypnotized by the “man behind the curtain” show promoted for the last 1700 years that there’s no sense of reality left.
Jesus died for you. He didn’t die so you would spend your time molding your life into a grand sacrifice approaching His. He died so you don’t have to be a martyr. The disciples and so many of the early followers were martyrs because they were trying to make sure some really important gentle truth had a toe hold in the world. Guess what, it does! You can stop trying to find people to kill you now. Don’t you think maybe Jesus was trying to teach you how to be healthy and vital, not how to build a better messiah complex?
God so loved the world that he gave His Son. Jesus didn’t come here so you would end up feeling like crap about yourself all the time. Jesus didn’t come here to point out how much you suck just for being human. Jesus came here so you could see how important you are to God’s expression, to the very act of creation. Jesus came here so you could see how cool you are underneath all the confusion and delusion. Jesus didn’t come here to show you the importance of sacrificing yourself. Jesus came here to do it Himself, the sacrifice, so you wouldn’t have to.
When circumstances get trying, when you are emotionally freaking out, when you just can’t take another screwed up thing happening in your life, go ahead, get pissed at God. Think God cares when you get mad at “Him?” If you’re going to spend your whole life with this big personified God you’re going to end up getting mad at “Him” sometimes. Get over it. Be mad. Or maybe you might decide to start looking at God as something other than a person.
So this is MY prayer. That you stop being happy with martyrdom, you stop being so confident in suffering, and you stop personifying God and put your anger where it belongs.
I hope it works, because it’s getting hard to watch.